Tuesday, October 23, 2012

I'm free!

Greetings, y'all--

This morning I couldn't stop thinking about all of the times my mother told me I wouldn't amount to anything in this life.  And finally I thought, "If I hadn't had my phone shut off because I spent all of my bill money on cheap vodka and Fresca, I'd call her up and give her a piece of my mind!"

Luckily I will be flying down to Florida, so I can tell my mom face to face that while my liver may be a loser, I'm a winner!  I'll be gone starting tomorrow and returning on Halloween (also known as Bloody Cranial Protrusion Day).  So if you have any pressing matters, please let me know today so I can try to take care of your issues today.

Bon voyage,

Dude

Thursday, October 04, 2012

Funding

Howdy, Studes--

Who doesn't love getting funding?  I, for one, get lots of funding by harvesting organs from people I accidentally knock out with ether.  By the way, if you notice a weird smell in the room during the weekly coffee break, ignore it.

Anyway, if you could let me know if you're going to submit for funding, I'd be much obliged.

Thanks,

Dude